TransNOMORES!

3 Jul

Well they did it, they managed to not make this one as terrible as the second one but that’s not saying much. The only way I can describe this movie is that it’s actually two movies in one that both feature a little of the giant robots as secondary characters. The movie begins by gracing us with a beautiful tie in of the Apollo 11 flight and then proceeds to Megan Fox 2.0: British Edition’s rear end. Half a minute of this girls behind right in our face. the movie wastes ample time trying to make us feel the relationship between her and our “hero” Sam Whitwhickey( if that’s not the correct spelling, I don’t care), as well as his problems of finding a job, and taking credit for what the Autobots did, and then recieve a medal from the latest Obama impersonater, but to no avail only create useless scenes of him failing. It only gets worse from here, the plot is shaky, the characters are dull, and everyone’s motivation or purpose is unexplained. Apparently the Autobots have been drafted by the U.S. to solve their problems for them, such as war in the middle east, and introduce Optimus Prime less as a sentient mechanical hero, and more as a robot toy for the U.S. to play with,  which shatters all their metal, and weight from the Transformer’s thousand other medial representations. While certain scenes are funny, they’re still out of place, a venerable armageddon happens, and they still find time for comedy which sucks the severity right out of the scene, which I swear half is from Battle L.A.. It would take two reviews to weigh the little pros and point out the abundant cons, and if you have any respect for the franchise at all, you will not support this movie. Congratulations Michael Bay, you have the honor of directing my first, Thumbs down.

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